how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
