Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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