How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
