and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
