Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
