Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
