Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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