Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
