I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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