He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
