dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize