Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
