The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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