don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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