I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
