Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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