I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
