I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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