Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
