In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize