somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Randomize