his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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