so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
my liver is dry heaving
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
