Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
