No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
there is glitter all over my balls
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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