if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
His nipple licking is glorious
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