moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I want her autograph on my taint
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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