I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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