YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
