Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
