So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Randomize
