Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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