I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
