Can i not drive my cunt home
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
