Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Randomize
