Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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