If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
