My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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