I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize