I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
