Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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