My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
