she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
