stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize