I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
