I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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