I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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