You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
