At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I love you. Go after that dick
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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