When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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