I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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