I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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