The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
