He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
