I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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