I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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