you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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